We all have unique perspectives, desires, and values that shape the way we navigate the world. Often, society, peers, or even our inner critic makes us question whether what matters to us is truly valid. But as the quote from A Gentle Reminder tells us: "If it matters to you, if it is important to you, then it is valid." Your feelings, goals, and priorities deserve recognition and respect, simply because they hold significance in your life. In this post, we'll explore why your personal values are valid, how to stand firm in your beliefs, and how validating what matters to you can lead to a more authentic and fulfilling life.
Why What Matters to You Is Always Valid
Your experiences, emotions, and desires are unique to you. No one else has lived through exactly what you’ve lived through or sees the world through your lens. As a result, what is important to you is shaped by your personal journey, making it inherently valid.
Consider this:
- Personal Context: The things that matter to you are often based on your life experiences. Whether it's a career goal, a relationship, or a personal project, it reflects your history, passions, and future aspirations.
- Emotional Investment: The more emotionally invested you are in something, the more valid it is to you. Your passion for a cause, hobby, or relationship gives it value that no one else can determine.
- Intrinsic Values: We all have a set of core values that guide our decisions and life paths. These values may not align with others, but they are valid because they shape who you are as a person.
How External Validation Impacts Our Sense of Worth
One of the biggest challenges in recognizing the validity of what matters to us is seeking external validation. Society often teaches us that our goals and feelings are only worthwhile if others agree with them. This can lead to self-doubt, insecurity, and the tendency to prioritize what others deem important over our own desires.
For example:
- Career Expectations: Society may place high value on traditional career paths, like becoming a doctor or lawyer, while dismissing careers in the arts or entrepreneurship. If you want to pursue something unconventional, you might feel pressure to conform, even though your dreams are valid.
- Personal Preferences: Your hobbies, interests, or the way you choose to spend your time might be questioned by others. If you love spending your weekends reading or practicing a craft, it’s important to recognize that these preferences are valid, even if they don’t align with others' ideas of productivity or success.
Learning to recognize and honor what matters to you—without the need for approval—can be incredibly empowering. It helps you establish boundaries, make decisions with confidence, and live a life that aligns with your true self.
Embracing the Validity of Your Priorities
How do we begin embracing the idea that what matters to us is valid, regardless of external opinions? Here are a few strategies to help you honor your priorities and values:
1. Trust Your Intuition
Your intuition is a powerful guide. Often, we know deep down what truly matters to us, but we let outside opinions cloud our judgment. When you feel strongly about something, trust that feeling. Your intuition is rooted in your experiences and values, and it’s there to help you navigate life in a way that feels authentic to you.
Take time to check in with yourself regularly. Ask: What truly matters to me in this moment? What do I feel drawn toward, and why? When you trust yourself, you begin to align your actions with your values.
2. Set Personal Boundaries
When you recognize the validity of what matters to you, setting boundaries becomes essential. Boundaries protect your time, energy, and emotional well-being. They allow you to prioritize what’s important to you without feeling guilty or obligated to meet others' expectations.
For example, if personal time for self-care matters to you, set clear boundaries with work or social commitments to protect that time. Boundaries remind you and others that your priorities deserve respect.
3. Let Go of Comparison
One of the quickest ways to invalidate what matters to you is by comparing yourself to others. In the age of social media, it’s easy to fall into the trap of believing that your goals, hobbies, or lifestyle are less important than someone else's. However, everyone’s journey is unique, and comparison can prevent you from fully embracing your own.
Instead of focusing on what others are doing, celebrate your individuality. What matters to you doesn’t have to look the same as what matters to someone else. By letting go of comparison, you give yourself the freedom to live according to your values.
4. Seek Internal Validation
Rather than relying on external validation, practice validating yourself. When you feel strongly about something, remind yourself that it matters because it’s important to you. You don’t need others' approval to pursue your passions, express your feelings, or make life choices.
A helpful exercise is to keep a journal where you document what matters to you and why. By writing these things down, you solidify your understanding of your values and give yourself permission to pursue them.
The Power of Validating Your Own Emotions and Desires
When you embrace the idea that what matters to you is valid, you start to live more authentically. This shift can have a profound impact on your life, relationships, and mental well-being. Here’s how:
- Increased Confidence: When you validate your own emotions and desires, you develop a stronger sense of self. This confidence empowers you to make decisions that align with your values, rather than seeking approval from others.
- Authentic Relationships: By honoring what matters to you, you attract people who share your values and appreciate you for who you are. Authentic relationships are built on mutual respect, where both parties recognize and honor each other's priorities.
- Greater Fulfillment: Living in alignment with your values leads to a more fulfilling life. When you prioritize what’s important to you, you create a sense of purpose and meaning that brings long-term satisfaction.
The quote "If it matters to you, if it is important to you, then it is valid" serves as a reminder to honor your feelings, desires, and values. What matters to you is valid simply because it holds significance in your life. By trusting your intuition, setting boundaries, and seeking internal validation, you can confidently prioritize what’s important to you without needing approval from others.
Living authentically requires the courage to embrace what truly matters to you. When you do, you unlock the power to lead a more meaningful, fulfilling life—one that reflects your true self and your unique journey.
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