You Deserve to Be Loved and Chosen—Not Almost Loved or Almost Chosen

 

You Deserve to Be Loved and Chosen—Not Almost Loved, Not Almost Chosen

In a world full of uncertainty, one of the greatest desires of the human heart is to be loved deeply and chosen fully. This longing is universal. We all want someone to see us, value us, and choose us without hesitation or doubt. Yet, so many people find themselves in relationships where they are almost loved, almost chosen—but never fully.

The message from A Gentle Reminder resonates deeply: You deserve to be loved and chosen—not almost, or almost chosen. But what does that mean, and why is it so important to recognize when you're settling for less?

What Does It Mean to Be “Almost Loved”?

To be almost loved is to experience affection that feels incomplete. It’s the kind of love that’s inconsistent—one day you’re the center of someone’s world, and the next, you’re wondering if they even care. It’s the love that only shows up when it’s convenient, or when the other person feels like it.

Almost love can be confusing because it often comes with moments of intensity. You may feel connected during those highs, but the lows are equally strong. You find yourself wondering why you don’t feel completely secure in the relationship, why there’s always an underlying sense of doubt.

Signs You’re Being Almost Loved

It can be difficult to recognize when you’re in a relationship where you’re being almost loved. Here are some signs to watch out for:

• Inconsistent Effort: The person makes an effort only when it suits them or when they need something from you. Their level of commitment fluctuates based on their convenience.
• Mixed Signals: You’re constantly left guessing about their feelings. Sometimes they seem invested, and other times they pull away without explanation.
• Emotional Unavailability: They don’t open up fully or share their life with you. There’s a wall between you and them that they refuse to take down.
• Breadcrumbing: They give you just enough attention to keep you around, but not enough to make you feel truly loved or chosen.
• Lack of Commitment: They may shy away from labels, future plans, or long-term commitments, always leaving you uncertain about where you stand.

What Does It Mean to Be “Almost Chosen”?

Being almost chosen feels like you’re good enough for someone’s present but not for their future. It’s when you’re someone’s option, but not their priority. You’re the person they turn to when they’re lonely or in need of comfort, but not the one they choose when it matters most.

Almost being chosen feels like constantly fighting for space in someone’s life—like you’re trying to prove your worth, waiting for them to finally decide that you’re enough.

Signs You’re Being Almost Chosen

When you’re almost chosen, it often looks like this:

• Hesitation to Commit: The person avoids making a solid commitment, always leaving the future of the relationship uncertain.
• Being Put on Hold: They keep you around but never give you a clear answer about where things are headed. It feels like you’re always waiting for them to make up their mind.
• Excuses: They justify their inability to commit with excuses—timing, personal issues, or fear of getting hurt. While some of these reasons may be valid, they still leave you feeling incomplete.
• Temporary Importance: You matter to them, but only when it’s convenient. They choose you when they need something but not when it requires real commitment or sacrifice.
• Avoiding Accountability: When it comes time to make serious decisions or take the relationship to the next level, they disappear or distance themselves.

Why You Deserve More Than “Almost”

Settling for “almost” in any form is an act of self-betrayal. You deserve more than someone’s half-hearted love or indecision. You deserve someone who sees your worth, who chooses you with confidence, and who is committed to being there for you through the highs and the lows.

You deserve someone who shows up, who makes you feel safe, and who leaves no room for doubt about their feelings. Anything less than that is an injustice to yourself.

Reclaiming Your Worth

To break free from being almost loved or almost chosen, you first need to reclaim your sense of self-worth. You have to believe that you deserve more than just scraps of love or someone’s temporary attention. This starts by recognizing your value and setting boundaries that protect your heart.

How to Stop Settling for “Almost”

1. Know Your Worth

The first step in leaving “almost” behind is recognizing that you deserve full, unwavering love. Remind yourself that your value is not determined by someone else’s inability to love you fully. You are worthy of someone who chooses you with their whole heart, not just when it’s convenient.

2. Set Boundaries

People often settle for being almost loved because they are afraid of being alone or think they don’t deserve more. But setting boundaries is a way of protecting yourself from relationships that leave you feeling incomplete.

3. Stop Waiting for Someone to Choose You

One of the hardest truths to accept is that someone who hasn’t chosen you wholeheartedly may never do so. Waiting for someone to come around can be exhausting and damaging to your self-esteem.

4. Be Brave Enough to Walk Away

Walking away from someone you love can be painful, especially if you’ve invested a lot of time and energy into the relationship. But holding onto someone who can’t love you fully is often more painful in the long run.

5. Surround Yourself with Love and Support

Leaving behind a relationship where you’re almost loved can be emotionally challenging. It’s important to surround yourself with friends, family, and a community that uplifts and supports you during this transition.

You are worthy of being fully loved and chosen—not halfway, not almost, but completely. Don’t settle for someone who leaves you questioning your worth or wondering where you stand. The love you deserve is one that makes you feel secure, seen, and cherished. It’s a love that shows up consistently, that makes you a priority, and that chooses you every single day.

Remember, you don’t have to wait for someone to choose you. You can choose yourself. And in doing so, you set the standard for the kind of love you will accept moving forward.